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Funerals fill an important role for those mourning the loss of a loved one. By providing surviving family and friends with an atmosphere of care and support in which to share thoughts and feelings about death, funerals are the first step in the healing process. It is the traditional way to recognize the finality of death. Funerals are a time-honored ritual for the living to show their respect for the dead and to help survivors begin the grieving process.
Planning a personalized ceremony or service will help begin the healing process. Overcoming the pain is never easy, but a meaningful funeral or tribute will help.The first step would be to write down your wishes. Indicate if you would prefer burial or cremation. Write down your ideas for the service you would like, cemetery choice, etc. If you've made those choices, or even if you're unsure, schedule a time to meet with one of our funeral directors, who can explain the different service options, merchandise choices, as well as the different ways to pay for the funeral.
After a death, contact the funeral home as soon as possible. From there, the funeral home will help coordinate arrangements with the cemetery.
When you meet with the funeral home, bring the following information to complete the state's vital statistics requirements:
If you request immediate assistance, yes. If the family wishes to spend a short time with the deceased to say goodbye, that's perfectly acceptable. Your funeral director will come when the time is right.
Burial in a casket is the most common method of disposing of remains in the United States, although entombment also occurs. Cremation is increasingly selected because it can be less expensive and allows for the memorial service to be held at a more convenient time in the future when relatives and friends can come together.
A funeral service followed by cremation need not be any different from a funeral service followed by a burial. Usually, cremated remains are placed in an urn before being committed to a final resting place. The urn may be buried, placed in an indoor or outdoor mausoleum/columbarium, or interred in a special urn garden that many cemeteries provide for cremated remains. The remains may also be scattered, according to state law.
Viewing is a part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe that viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity is voluntary.
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body. Embalming makes it possible to lengthen the time between death and the final disposition, allowing family members time to arrange and participate in the type of service most comforting to them.
The Federal Trade Commission says, "Except in certain special cases, embalming is not required by law. Embalming may be necessary, however, if you select certain funeral arrangements, such as a funeral with viewing. If you do not want embalming, you usually have the right to choose an arrangement that does not require you to pay for it, such as direct cremation or immediate burial."
When compared to other major life events like births and weddings, funerals are not expensive. A wedding costs at least three times as much; but because it is a happy event, wedding costs are rarely criticized. A funeral home is a 24-hour, labor-intensive business, with extensive facilities (viewing rooms, chapels, limousines, hearses, etc.), these expenses must be factored into the cost of a funeral.
Additionally, the cost of a funeral includes not only merchandise, like caskets, but the services of a funeral director in making arrangements; filing appropriate forms; dealing with doctors, ministers, florists, newspapers and others; and seeing to all the necessary details. Funeral directors look upon their profession as a service, but it is also a business. Like any business, funeral homes must make a profit to exist.
It really depends entirely on how you wish to commemorate a life. One of the advantages of cremation is that it provides you with increased flexibility when you make your funeral and cemetery arrangements.
You might, for example, choose to have a funeral service before the cremation; a memorial service at the time of cremation or after the cremation with the urn present; or a committal service at the final disposition of cremated remains. Funeral or memorial services can be held in a place of worship, a funeral home, or in a crematory chapel.
There are a lot of options, so please speak with one of our funeral directors to get a sense of all the choices available to you.
With cremation, your options are numerous. The cremated remains can be interred in a cemetery plot (i.e., earth burial); retained by a family member, usually in an urn; or scattered on private property or at a place that was significant to the deceased. (It is always advisable to check for local regulations regarding scattering in a public place. Your funeral director can help you with this.)
Today, there are many different types of memorial options available. Memorialization is a time-honored tradition that has been practiced for centuries. A memorial serves as a tribute to a life lived and provides a focal point for remembrance, as well as a record for future generations. The type of memorial you choose is a personal decision.
You might choose ground burial of the urn. If so, you may choose an appropriate memorial or monument.
Cremation niches in columbariums are also available at many cemeteries. They offer the beauty of a mausoleum setting with the benefits of aboveground placement of remains.
Many cemeteries also offer scattering gardens. This area of a cemetery offers the peacefulness of a serene garden where family and friends can come and reflect.
If you wish to have your ashes scattered somewhere, it is important to discuss your wishes ahead of time with the person or persons who will do the scattering, as they might want to let your funeral professional assist in the scattering ceremony.
Funeral directors can also be very helpful in creating a meaningful and personal ash scattering ceremony that they will customize to fit your family's specific desires. The services can be as formal or informal as you like.
Scattering services can also be public or private. Again, it is advisable to check for local regulations regarding scattering in a public place. Your funeral director can help you with this.
Yes. Depending upon the cemetery's policy, you may be able to save a grave space by having the cremated remains buried on top of the casketed remains of your spouse or utilize the space provided next to him/her. Many cemeteries allow for multiple cremated remains to be interred in a single grave space.
Uncertainty about income tax issues can add to the stress experienced after the death of a spouse. You should meet with your family attorney and/or tax advisor as soon as possible to review your particular tax and estate circumstances. Bring a detailed list of your questions to the meeting. If you do not have an attorney or tax advisor, call the IRS toll-free at 800-829-1040 for answers to specific tax questions.
There are a number of options available, including:
The GriefPlan Video Program was developed by Dr. Jason Troyer. This program includes more than 65 brief videos and 50 activity sheets that answer the most common questions about grief as well as provides a step-by-step guide to heal, remember, and rebuild after loss. We are proud to offer Dr. Troyer's GriefPlan program to our entire community free of charge.
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